I have eternal joy in Jesus but I am also, somewhat of a mourning dove. I know sickness, pain, sorrow, and grief very well. If I want to gripe, it isn’t hard to find something to complain about. Death is also, a close acquaintance of mine. I greet him every morning, in the form of physical infirmity and in the daily tussle with him, just to survive. If I am called to sell a Christian religion, I’m not a very good choice as a sales rep. I don’t have a lot of material success. I don’t have a perfect family. I’m not a perfect wife, mother, or grandmother. I don’t have an extraordinary career. I think of myself as average but I may be deluding myself and actually, not even meet that mark of human measurement. I’m not happy and positive, all of the time. I laugh, I cry, I get angry (sometimes, I’ve even melted down) and no amount of religious practice ever changed any of this about me. If my joy were dependent upon the circumstances of my life and practice of my religion, then I would be joyless. By modern society’s standards, I’m not anything special and probably, have nothing much to offer, at all.
I’m nothing more than an old woman who’s been in love with Jesus for a long time. There is nothing about me that is highly valued by this world but in Jesus, I am God’s child and this is the heart of my joy. Because of Him, I am joyful and in me, that joy has become more valuable over time because of the harsh struggles I’ve survived and overcome because of Jesus in my life. I have lived through many dark days but they are becoming nothing more than a shadow, which enhances the light who is Jesus guiding me. By my humble state and Jesus living in my heart through faith, I magnify Jesus because nothing about me is deserving of what I enjoy in Him. Since God had mercy on me, I know there is no one outside the reach of that mercy.
I’m not young anymore and my body is fully engaged in the process of decay, called aging. Getting old isn’t fun, it’s painful. However, I face it with joy because”as I decrease, He increases”. The weaker I become, the more I need Jesus, and what should destroy me only, makes my faith stronger. Someday, my mourning will end. Until then, I take up my cross every day and struggle toward my final stand on earth. I will face that old enemy, Death, one last time; and because Jesus conquered him, my body will be destroyed but my spirit will return to God. When it is finished, I will know fully, abundant life and not even remember Death. On that day, my joy will become glory.