When Old Woman Fades to Joyful Glory!

Numbered days fleeting, slipping her grasp…

Molten gold-laden and fading into glory;

Silver voice diminished but remaining in aged rasp…

Labored sad-singing, her one ending-story;

Broken memories lost, drifting in time-lapse…

Old dreams dimmed in head turned grey and hoary;

Death agony caused by misfiring synapse…

Pain messengers released, intensify longing for glory!

Old woman’s secrets locked away with a hasp…

Open! The beginning then the end of her story;

Faith with sure hope secured, doesn’t lapse…

When Old Woman fades to joyful glory!




Joy for Those Who Struggle With Sin and Temptation

Jesus lives in me but Pam still lives here too. Everything Jesus is I am not and everything I am not Jesus is. Before Jesus revealed Himself to me and I placed my faith in Him, I followed the desires of my heart without questioning them. My heart led me to a dark and desolate place and if Jesus hadn’t rescued me, I would have died there. I was lost in my sin and there was nothing good in my heart to lead me away from death. I knew no other way to live than to seek the fulfillment of my desires, even when it became obvious that the things I loved most were destroying me. Jesus, the embodiment of divine truth, is the light shining in the night of my heart who rescued me from death and is leading me in a better living Way. Jesus saved me from death, the final consequence of my sin and He is teaching me to live according to the Spirit rather than by the desires of my flesh. Because I am born-again in spirit but still living in flesh and blood, there is a war raging within me as I struggle to overcome my sin. I am not alone for this is the condition of every true believer in Christ Jesus. I and every other child of God is a soldier in this very same war, the inner struggle with sin and temptation. Jesus is that faithful ally who supports His own in battle, strengthens us with His righteous joy, and assures us of final victory.

Jesus is validation for every believer who struggles with sin and temptation because Jesus the Son of God is also, the Son of Man who won the war with sin and death, while living in a body of flesh and blood. Jesus possesses experiential empathy and compassion for every sinner; even though He is the true Son of God and never sinned. Jesus is not a far away God of icy perfection; Jesus relates to all we suffer because Jesus also, suffered as a human being. Jesus knows the struggle with temptation and the weakness of mortal beings to sin because He endured the agony of resisting the desires of the flesh that are enmity against God. Through obedience to His Father, He prevailed over sin and temptation and then offered His body and blood as a sacrifice for those who have no hope of thwarting (on their own) the sinful desires of their hearts. This graceful act proceeded from the righteous joy that He possessed through perfect obedience; in resisting sin to the point of sacrificial death and opening the floodgates of God’s forgiveness for every sinner, who believes and repents. Set free from the curse of death, the war against sin began and rages inwardly, in every follower of Christ; the war that still rages inside of me.

I am a hardened soldier in the war against my sin. Satan my deceptive enemy never sleeps but watches me waiting for the opportunity to tempt me when my flesh is weak. He knows He can’t destroy me because I belong to Jesus but he comes at me hard, doing his best to cause me to stumble and destroy my credibility in Christ. When I stumble, he chortles with delight and heaps accusations and guilt upon me. Nothing pleases him more than to see me wallowing in guilt, shame, and sorrow for my betrayal. In this decade’s long war, I have lost many battles but because of the forgiveness that Jesus bought for me, God restores me and I rise to fight again. I am not Jesus and to win this war, I desperately need Him! Everything I am not, Jesus is and because Jesus lives in me, His victory is mine. By faith in Jesus, I endure this constant inner war, strengthened by His righteous joy. By the hope He made sure, I look forward to my full redemption from sin. FREEDOM! With the peace within that will also, govern a restored world! Truly, this war that I and other true believers fight is the dreamed of war to end all wars!


Luke 4:1-13, 1 Corinthians 2:6-16, Romans 7:14-25



The Joy of the One Who Suffered Most

No one likes to suffer and most of us do whatever we can to avoid it; but no one can side-step the inevitable. Every day in this fallen world, creatures must die so other creatures can live. Suffering is an integral part of life by death and a normal part of the human condition. Life is never easy and the harder and longer we fight against the inevitability of death, the more suffering we endure. Agony is found in the deep throes of the common war those living have declared upon death. The strong survive longer but everyone born is born to die.

Many choose to hide their suffering; out of fear of appearing weak and vulnerable to attack, by those seeking their livelihood in a world that functions by the law of kill to eat. Bolstering their pride, they even deny themselves the full acknowledgement of their personal suffering; and seek comfort in telling themselves that their suffering isn’t as bad as the suffering of others. It’s common to say that there is always someone worse off and enduring greater suffering than what we have to endure. However, somewhere at some time, there must be that someone who suffered the most; an unenviable someone, who experienced more agony than anyone else.

Jesus is the Man remembered most for His suffering crucifixion on the cross. He died an agonizing, unjustified death but He also, lived a life of suffering. Jesus bore the societal shame of illegitimacy and lived in poverty, without the privilege of education or choice of profession. The life chosen for Jesus, the Son of Man was the life lived before him by his step-father Joseph. When Jesus chose to follow instead, in the footsteps of His Heavenly Father, in obedience to His purpose for Him, He knew homelessness, persecution, and wrongful imprisonment that ended in public humiliation, beatings, and execution. Jesus as the Son of Man lived a life of sorrow and suffered in every way that a human being can suffer. Jesus the Son of God came to earth in the form of a man to endure all that human beings endure and because of His sinless righteousness, Jesus is the One who suffered most.

Jesus bore His suffering by the joy of His righteousness and didn’t succumb, as all others, to death; but instead, conquered it to rise and live again. Jesus didn’t live according to the law of kill to eat, that law enacted under the rule of death. Jesus lived instead, according to every Word proceeding from His Father. He chose to nourish Himself on spiritual bread and instead of sacrificing other lives to live, Jesus offered His body as bread and His blood as wine. He offered His life so, others might learn to live according to the Spirit and not according to the flesh. His sacrifice ended the need for all other sacrifice because His obedience made Him a pure sacrifice that satisfied His Father’s rightful anger and assuaged His wrath. This is how Jesus conquered death and became the open Door between God and man. By laying down His life He satisfied the call of righteousness for justice!

Jesus remains that open door, gathering in all who belong to Him. When their full number is reached, the door will close and the rule of sin and death will come to a violent end. There will be joy for the saints but woe to the earth on the LORD’s Day! When man’s rebellious rule of man-over-man ends, Jesus will return and establish His rule and reign on the earth for 1,000 years, in a Kingdom characterized by His righteousness. The One who suffered most is the One who will end all suffering, in that better world to come. A new world, without sorrow, pain, and tears, where death will die! Joy will resound in full-throttle rejoicing when the war with sin and death is won!

Moon Dream Joy

Moon dream drops falling slow;

Tiny light particles, creating moon beams,

Setting cold-dark, night-world aglow!

Creating the atmosphere for dreams,

Of love, and peace, and joy to grow;

Inside God’s timing


Moon dream drops falling faster;

Soft reflected light, brightening streams,

Reveals the Moon as night-time Master,

The revealer of all man’s night-times schemes;

Nightmare dreams that lead to disaster!

Outside of God’s timing


Moon dream drops streaming down!

Intense thoughts washed, into un-consciousness;

Plans drift away frustrated, and then drown,

In giant wafting, waves of forgetfulness;

All bright-color impatient-dreams fade to brown,

Side-stepping God’s timing


Moon dream drops magnified in Holy Light!

God whispers in dreamer’s quieted ear,

A golden dream… truth in poetic delight!

Of that perfect Love, that frees from all fear;

Love, and peace, and joy, overpower cold-dark night!

Prophetic dream lasts, in God’s perfect timing



Why This Old Caged-Bird Sings Joy!

Most would identify joy as a human emotion, the superlative of happiness.  However, those who belong to Jesus know that the joy found through faith is much more than fleeting emotion and temporary elation. Joy is an attitude produced through faith in Christ and the future promise of a better world to come. Joy is the constant state of the mind of Christ, available to all who trust Jesus as their Savior and the Lord of their life. Joy is stability in an unstable world.

I am joyful but I’m not always happy. I experience the full range of human emotion but those ever-changing mood states can’t diminish my joy. They may distract me from the joy of my faith but joy faithfully, waits for my return always, available to restore my emotional balance and clear my mind. My joy isn’t subject to my emotions because it doesn’t originate from me. My joy is a surety of the promises of God. It is a gift and a foreshadowing of a better world to come; where there will be no pain, sorrow, or suffering. I received this spiritual gift when I first believed in Jesus and it is mine for eternity.

I am a joyful woman but my circumstance in life is less than ideal. I am a joy-bird caged within a failing body that often, isolates me within its special demands. This joy-bird is an old bird living a body of death, longing to fly free. There is no joy in illness and isolation and if this were my end, I would give up and die; but I belong to Jesus and this current suffering is just another passing season. I have endured many such seasons and Jesus has never abandoned me or left me without purpose. My current situation is God’s Will for me and I trust in His purpose with a trust that He has earned. If God doesn’t heal me in this world, I will receive permanent healing in the world to come. When I view my current circumstance through the bright promise of my future, my circumstance doesn’t dictate my attitude. My pain and suffering is absorbed by the joy that constantly sings in the depths of my heart. This is my joy-song, given for me to sing into eternity.

Jesus never promised me health or wealth in this world because in this dying world, what happens to the righteous also, happens to the wicked. There is no justice here. Pain, suffering, and sorrow are the common human condition in a world governed by death. Jesus suffered when He walked the earth and following Him, I suffer too. He is my example, the One who endured suffering and shame and even death on the cross for the prize set before Him, eternal life. By His obedience and endurance in suffering, He won that prize and offers it freely, to all who believe. This precious gift of eternal life is my surety of future hope. I am called to endure suffering in this world also, with my eyes and heart set on Jesus in hope of the promised world to come. That Righteous Kingdom, where all suffering will end, is my hoped for prize! The sure promise that keeps this old, caged-bird singing, Joy!


My Joy Road Home

Dust billows and rolls, behind the only car to be seen for miles, as we race the antelope toward home. Slow rumble, rattle, and shake over dirt road that snakes over the far horizon. I see famed “Purple Mountain’s Majesty”, backdrop to the aqua sage-brush sea that lies shimmering beneath a blue cathedral sky. Coyotes scurry as hawks swoop and dive, chasing the same prey, but quick jack-rabbit disappears into the ground. Red-tail hawk dips and in disappointment, soars away and coyote collapses in a heap on the warm sand, in dismal-dismay. A Walking-Stick Cactus army marches across the high desert floor, in full-blooming rose array; columns ending where the tree-line begins, the changing of the guards. Cactus soldiers give away to twisted, wind-sculpted Cedars and slow-growing, desert-feeding Pinyon, infiltrated here and there by a lone, Ponderosa Pine. I hear the Meadow Lark’s joyful song, as wings of Rocky Mountain Blue Birds flash like pieces of falling desert sky. Still the road rolls on but in the distance I see the old gate and the faithful, spinning windmill that identifies mi hacienda, mi casa, the old family home-stead. Now it sits, empty and long abandoned. My eyes fill with unexpected tears.

The old Territorial adobe house, speaks of a simpler time that echoes deeply, within my soul. This formidable land that most call empty is wonderful to me! Nature is not nothing! What people build crumbles to nothing! What God builds remains and reclaims itself, when man gives up and moves to the city. This high desert mesa called, Glorrieta, fostered its strength and beauty in me. Though my journey through life has led me far from her, the lessons she taught of independence, hard work, and dignity walk with me through life, guiding me. The wild desert is me and I am the wild desert; this is the dust from which I was formed. The dust of New Mexico’s enchantment forever, blowing in the relentless, west-wind. Someday, that fierce, west-wind will roar and I will fly from the land of my mother, to be with my Father, in that land which lies above the high-vaulted sky. Heaven, mi cielo azul, is the final destination of my joy road home.


Joy is Love Given!

All hope for love to own, but love demands to be given;

Love mighty living fast-flowing stream, dies by damning;

In greedy man-made lakes, love stagnates, and away is driven;

Love evaporating in heavy mist, forming clouds of sorrow lining;

Raining down heavy drops, re-gathering mighty stream, life re-given;

Love hoarded dies then in air rises, born-again ever-flowing, eternally- living;

Life nurturing along its banks, those who by faith in Love abide, in hope joy livens;

Love is God and God is Love; Mighty Rolling Eternal Living River, eternal- life-giving!


The Joyful Failed Hippie

On long, lonely days when future dreams fade, I drift backward in time, searching for the-other-day. That early day, way back when I was young and headstrong; sure of the course I set, and confident of how it would all work out. I was a dreamer full of schemes to make all my dreams come true. Enticed by rainbows and flowers braided in long, golden hair, when hair was the important statement, I sought refuge, love, and peace in nature. Simplicity, “Mother Earth News”, and self-sufficiency were the method my new husband and I chose to tame a piece of wild land, while striving to live in natural harmony. We worked very hard to leave civilization behind and live simply. We grew our food and bought what we couldn’t produce locally, from farmers; those same farmers who smirked and called us hippies but couldn’t deny our ambition or dedication. None of them could ever say we were lazy or dirty but only young dreamers, idealists. For five short, work-filled years, we gave it our best but when our babies began to get bigger, civilization called us back. Our children’s needs caused us to see the bigger picture (we grew up) so, we sold our dream and moved into town. Thus we earned the teasing title of “failed hippies” from our eldest son, who like his aging boomer parents, remembers those simple days with joy.

No television, no modern amenities, taught us appreciation for water, warm baths, and light into the evening. All the comforts we’d taken for granted came by hard work that increased their pleasure by reward. Chopping wood, hauling, and heating water made each bath in a washtub pure, bliss! Then, followed by dinner and lantern lit, happy evenings with our babies and their chatter; ending in long quiet nights resting in peaceful, hard-worker slumber. Jesus led us there and He and I spent many happy hours together, just Him and me, my Bible, and the healing scent of Pinyon trees. He revealed Himself to my husband too and we found a better kind of love, peace, and refuge than that which we sought in nature. The Bible proved to be a much better guide to living than “Mother Earth News” and we began to live according to a time-tested, better set of ideals. In truth, none can go back in time and escape living in the time God assigns to each of us but the lessons we learned by seeking to live a simple life remain with my husband and I to this day. Hard work, appreciation for simple living, and less need for material things, never goes out of style. God used our back-to-nature hippie days to teach us how to live well, within our means. There is no failure in Jesus because He works all things to the good of those who belong to Him, according to the purposes of God. Though I sought refuge from a world I hated by attempting to leave the world and create a reality of my own, God used that time to teach me how to be in the world but not like it. My love for nature and simplicity remain, along with that same anti-materialism that is satisfied through dependence upon God and doesn’t require me to step back in time. God gave me my youthful dream and then gave me a life much better than any I could ever achieve through prideful, self-sufficiency; by giving me a purpose much greater than myself. He set my feet upon a mission to tell others about Jesus and the better world to come. A world filled with natural beauty where all things live in peaceful harmony; peace and harmony better than any hippie chick dream! That future hope that fills this failed, old hippie with joy!

Joy When Jesus Returns?

Theologians call it “The Rapture”; that day described in 1st Thessalonians when Christ Jesus returns in the clouds and those, living and dead, who belong to Him rise to meet Him in the air. Rapture entails the ultimate crescendo of joy impending for those who name Jesus as Savior and Lord; but weeping and gnashing of teeth for Jesus-naming-evil-cloaking-hypocrites and woe for the world that denies Him. The Day when Jesus returns in the clouds (just as He left the world over 2,000 years ago) hangs imminently over a sinful, dying world. That Day which none can predict will strike like lightning, when Jesus comes for His own and then to judge all others. I wonder, “What will I be doing when Jesus comes?”


I am weak, living in a body of flesh and blood. The carnal me has appetites, begging to be fed, that contradict God’s Will for me. Always on a diet, I wrestle with flesh-and –blood desires and with God’s help, I win but when I go-it-alone, I lose. I wonder, “When Jesus comes will I be doing well or sleepily, indulging my sin?” Jesus is strong! I turn to Him and I beg, “Jesus be strong in me and help me prevail in this horrible war that rages inside of me! Please, come in that hour when I’m doing well and let me not be found among the hypocrites, weeping and gnashing my teeth! Jesus please, always keep me in your presence and turn my joy into rapture when you come for me!” This is my daily plea. This is the prayer I pray as I struggle against the sin that won’t let me be!


I look into the clouds, looking for Jesus and see only clouds; I again wonder “What will I be doing when Jesus comes?” When I look at carnal me there is not much hope offered but when I look up to Jesus I see, with God all things are possible. Trusting in the work that Jesus is faithfully completing in me is my only hope of being found worthy of rapture when Jesus comes. By His strength and by His might, I will win the war with my sin and know everlasting peace with overflowing joy, when I meet Jesus in the air and this long, hard battle is won! Truly, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Rapture waits for those who in the midst of battle, don’t give up but look up and patiently wait for His imminent return. Hope rebounds and in thankfulness I pray, “Come Lord Jesus, on the Day that Father God has set and claim your spotless bride! That perfected bride, washed clean in your own blood, shed in sacrifice for me, for all who believe and by trust in you are kept faithful!”


Matthew 24 and 1st Thessalonians 5

Condemnation is Anti-Joy

There are many slaves in the world today and most of them think they are free. Those discouraged by their inability to live up to moral expectations and feeling shackled by those unattainable demands, reach for freedom by choosing to pursue and satisfy their personal desires. Moral abandon is exhilarating at first but life lived in pursuit of happiness and freedom by following the heart, ends in slavery. There are billions of people in the world enslaved by drugs, debt, gambling, and sexual addictions (to name a few); lured in and trapped by the longing to escape condemnation by seeking personal happiness. Many are blind to their condition and even love that which enslaves them. Their slave-master is Satan that old devil the inventor and master of deception, who blinds and binds his slaves with promises of liberty and happiness; while leading them into permanent condemnation and a second death in the final Lake of Fire. There is no joy in slavery and the future promise of utter destruction.


In the carnal world, ruled by Satan, there is no escaping condemnation. No matter how human beings try to circumvent natural consequences by changing God’s Law, those laws remain in effect. The Ten Commandments live inside every human conscience. Circumventing the direction received from our conscience doesn’t erase that basic Spiritual code of conduct and those who fail to honor it are condemned already. Every living soul, when measured against the letter of that Law, is bound over and sentenced to misery and future destruction. Though people know to do what is good, they are unable to perform it perfectly, and no one measures up to the perfection required by the conscience, God’s divine law. Failing on one point can’t be corrected through adherence to the rest of the code and all are lost when held accountable for their choosing between good and evil. The divine Law, though written in every human conscience, is Spiritual and of God who is Spirit, while people are carnal beings. Escaping condemnation requires spiritual rebirth and the only way to be born-again and become spiritual, is through faith in Jesus Christ. With faith comes the indwelling of the Holy Spirit that empowers believers to fulfill God’s divine law and the forgiveness of Christ Jesus to restore them to God when they stumble. In Jesus only, lies the power to find relief from common condemnation. This is the Truth that sets all captives free: Jesus, who committed no sin, died a sinner’s death on the cross and rose to live again on the third day. The only Man unworthy of condemnation suffered as a condemned criminal and died as a substitute, so all the captives of sin could be reconciled to God and delivered from condemnation. Jesus died for us and He lives for us also, showing us the Way to a joyfully abundant life that is eternal life.


Slaves to sin condemned to die, then set free in Christ, become slaves to righteousness. The good works of God purposed to set all people free and rescue His creation from the corruption of sin and death. It is the mission of all believers to set other captives free by introducing them to Jesus. Those in Christ who enjoy no condemnation shouldn’t condemn others who are now, enslaved by sin just as they were once held captive and destined for death. Sin is deadly and is to be hated but those blinded and chained by it are to be loved. Jesus loves sinners so much that He died for us even, when we were consumed by sin and good for nothing but burning. Those of us who were condemned to die but instead of death received eternal life, because God chose to have mercy on us, ought not to condemn anyone no matter how repugnant their sin. The spirit of condemnation is ant-joy and contrary to the believer’s true purpose in Christ. Joy in Jesus is the gift of eternal life that gives the children of God strength. Those who choose to turn from the Grace they received freely and condemn others weaken joy and make themselves ineffectual in their faith. Choosing to love rather than condemn is the right Way to increase joy!



Romans 6:23 For the wages sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.