It’s been a tough week. Rough enough to distract me from the eternal joy I have in Christ. I’m fighting a chronic disease called Cryoglobulinemia; which is a form of vasculitis (inflammation of the blood vessels) that goes in and out of remission. It’s been out of remission since about January and it takes time to chemically knock it back in its place. It can and does affect every bodily system by cutting off blood flow. Inflamed blood-vessels can also break and this week, I’ve had problems with profuse bleeding. I’m past the worst of it, I think, but bleeding is scary and the experience has left me drained. Sometimes, I’m tired of fighting it. I’m not suicidal but some days, I long for home.
I and the people of my community are also the victims of an environmental disaster; caused by the mismanagement of the EPA of a Super Fund project involving an old mine at the headwaters of the Animas River in Colorado. I live downstream in New Mexico and the Animas River Valley is my home. I love this river and it is the source of life of all living in the desert I call home. The once sparkling clear water is now flowing, thick, yellow mud containing high concentrations of heavy metals. Heavy metals sink and the Animas may never be the same. My beautiful river turned poison, fills me with sadness and concern for all the people and animals that depend on the Animas for sustenance. Though I am a joyful woman, I can’t help but mourn.
If my reality was the horizontal view of life only, I would give up right now. If I didn’t have Jesus, God’s Heavenly perspective, and the spiritual fruits my faith in Jesus has produced, I would at the least, be bitter, fearful, and angry; but my faith tells me to look up. Neither disease nor disaster can take away the eternal hope I have in Jesus and the new world to come. I have joy to help me endure and a doctor with a sure cure to restore my physical health and also, the health of my beloved river. The blood I shed in sickness, may take my physical life but the blood Jesus shed for me made my spirit and soul eternal. If Jesus chooses to heal me now, it will be for His glory and my temporary gain. I know I will be completely healed when His Kingdom rule begins and I will never have to face death again. I will receive a new glorified body and never re-experience the pain and destruction of disease. God will also, heal His beautiful creation and my beloved Animas will glitter and sparkle with new life that will never cease. All things destroyed by human sin restored as a dysfunctional world is healed and returns to full function, according to God’s design.
By my faith in God through Jesus, I am refreshed and ready to live out the full number of days my Father has given me. My spirit and soul nourished by all the spiritual fruits are replenished. With tested faith found true and hope, I joyfully look forward to full health in a vibrantly healthy world. I rest secure in the promises earned by the One whose body was broken and His blood, shed for me.