The Joy-Killer

Sad-bad-times regurgitated; then swallowed back down

Jagged edged accusations; adeptly stabbed in the heart!

Memories twisted by denial into shame’s thorny crown

Piercing in martyred skin; shame pressing pointed dart!

Loved boy-child now, angry young man of raging renown

Bringing father shame; breaking ever-loving mother’s heart!

Insane drug-driven mad-man; lost and alone in the dark

Hating God; hating the world, tormented man falling apart!

Mind bending negativity; depression driven alone-state stark

On the hunt to vent hot anger; never giving love a decent start!

Forgiveness, an abstract thought; black –dead-hope heart mark

Dreamed for child; by the world ground down, soul torn apart!

Now run! Hide when you see him coming! He’s the Joy-Killer!

The star of this too-common-sad-tale of family dysfunction as art…

A young man’s life destroyed by sin; the ancient true-Joy-Killer!


23 thoughts on “The Joy-Killer

      1. I cried out to You, O Lord:
        I said, “You are my refuge,
        My portion in the land of the living. Psalm 142:5.

        God is all we need for our every need, want, and desire. He is our inheritance, our heritage, our everlasting Portion.
        We need to immerse ourselves in Him. I will state it again with the Psalmist:

        My flesh and my heart fail;
        But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26.

        “Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10b.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, and still they choose. Ezekiel 18 gives me balance and hope for those being raised in dysfunction and also, for those from good-enough homes who choose it.–I’m still working on the award Jacqueline, I haven’t forgotten. I’m just sort of overwhelmed lately.

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    2. Yes, and then they choose…Ezekiel 18 gives me balance and hope both for kids being raised in dysfunction and those from good-enough homes who choose it. This comes from a deep, painful place…I haven’t forgotten the award, I’m just kind of overwhelmed lately. Lord willing, tomorrow.

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    1. That is because of the many depressing / distressing times I’ve suffered in life and had no one else to turn to but to my Creator / Maker / Master / Lord / Savior / Portion / The Only One Who could help.

      In my distress I called upon the Lord,
      And cried out to my God;
      He heard my voice from His temple,
      And my cry entered His ears. – 2 Samuel 22:7.

      The Lord literally took me by the hand (to my conscious awareness) in January 1979 (after the passing of our earthly father in December 1978) when I was without a job and had our mother and siblings to care for. He provided me with a job (and a much better one later on) and enabled me to take of mother (until her passing before our very eyes in 1984 smitten by a stroke aged 52) and siblings and one sibling’s 4 children. He scripted the plan for my life when I was confused and alone without a goal or direction in life. He has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams. Therefore, He is my inheritance, my All in all. Even though I desired a mate and prayed many times about it, in His wisdom He has declined this petition. I accept His counsel because He is wiser that me and the Guardian of my life. He knows what is best for me. I humbly submit to His will. He knows what is best. Therefore, I make these words of the Psalmist my own:

      Nevertheless I am continually with You;
      You hold me by my right hand.- Psalm 73:23.

      [Have I shared too much? But I couldn’t restrain myself from telling about God’s goodness. You may edit it, at your discretion.]

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      1. It’s a wonderful testimony, Thomas from the heart, a beautiful, humble declaration of your love of the Father. Thank you for sharing it here. God bless and keep you as He helps you to carry all that you have to bear.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I used to be a Joy-Killer myself until I started seeing through the perspective of those being hurt of the product of dysfunction in the family. There’s no use placing blame and under the law there is always contention, but it would be a truly wonderful thing for families to make the peace and for every individual to make peace within themselves in Jesus. Thanks again Pam for your wonderful writes!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I worked with so many men as you describe here. It’s often very difficult to chip away at the protective wall they construct around themselves. But when I was able to crack through just a little I saw the Savior work miracles of healing in them. It’s often most difficult for their families. I often used the subject of their mothers to break through. “What is your life doing to your mother?” They responded most often to that. And I would bring the Savior into it, His healing power. Sometimes the results were joyful, other times heartbreaking. Thank you for this Pam. It reminds me how many are still out there who need the Savior’s healing touch.

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  3. May God grant us eyes to see our sons and daughters in the hearts of each soul we encounter. Your voice shall be a call to arms of all those that read, to look upon their children and draw near unto their hearts. Be at peace, Pam.

    Liked by 1 person

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