joyindestructible

Bill (always referred to as William by his mother) was once a bright, happy, little boy. He was the youngest child, with two older sisters, in a family that doted on him. There wasn’t anything his parent’s wouldn’t do for their children but in William his mother, Della especially, saw greatness. She centered her life around him and tended to his every wish and need. Determined not to deny him any opportunity, she sacrificed many things to make sure he attended the right schools, had special lessons, and played whatever sport caught his interest. Della did everything she could to make sure his childhood was the opposite of her own. Her William had the right clothes, the right friends, and never lacked for anything. Bill was the center of his family and understood that the sun, moon, and stars revolved around him; and were purposed to serve him. Bill seemed to have everything but he was denied the joy of serving others and never learned to give but only, to receive.

Della loved Jesus and she taught her children that they should love Him too. She took them to church every Sunday and did her best to raise them “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Della and her husband, the original William, both had servant’s hearts and dedicated many hours to their church. Truly, they were nearly selfless people who gave of themselves freely and seldom asked for anything in return. Young Bill observed them giving away what he thought should belong to only him and grew to resent their church service. He saw how some took advantage of his parents and came to regard them as foolish but that didn’t stop him from availing himself of all he could garner from them. It was jealousy and entitlement that tied the first hard knots in Bill’s heart; knots that anchored him at the center of his universe and strangled any remnant of childish joy. Though Bill knew everything about the Christian faith, he never accepted Christ because that would mean surrendering the throne of self that he knew himself as entitled to. He grew bitter toward God and as a young man, declared himself an Atheist. However, deep inside he knew the reality of God but had no use for a God that required service rather than catering to his whims.

Bill is now known as a bitter, old man. Life was a disappointment to him as the world refused to serve him as his parent’s had. He hates them too for making him believe that everything he desired and wished for would be handed to him on a silver platter. The only thing he really enjoys in life is deriding Christians, in the same way that he derides and abuses his aged parents. Bill didn’t learn to work and doesn’t like to work. He rode his parents financially for as long as he could until, their money ran out. After that they were useless to him and he abandoned them entirely. He assuages any pains of guilt brought on by his actions by trolling social media and haranguing believers. He made it his call in life, to de-evangelize the world. He prides himself on his intellect and reason, as he seeks to free others from purpose, hope, and the joy of faith that he finds most, unreasonable. His methods consist mainly, of rapid-fire statements disguised as questions, designed to overwhelm intellects he regards as inferior to his own. Even though he denies belief in any deity, there is nothing he adores more than blaming God for every evil in the world. In this Bill reveals the truth buried deep in his heart that he is not an Atheist but an apostate. Instead of choosing a faith he knows is Truth, he decided instead to unreasonably rely upon human reason and its inability to prove the existence of God. It was the only, way to keep his throne. He denied a life of purpose and embraced a life of purposeless, self-gratification that left him empty, bitter, and joyless. Bill still proudly, sits at the center of his universe and he sits all alone.

Many blame Bill’s parents for creating the man he is today; but Bill is the only one who can change his destiny. As a child, he observed all their ways and chose to be the kind of man he wanted to be. Any hope for him lies in changed desire and the softening of his hardened heart. Only the Truth that Bill eschews has the power to free him from his isolation, pain, and bitterness. Only, Jesus can loosen the knots of defective non-belief and fill his heart with joy. His only, hope lies in the Mercy of the one true God that he denies.