Raging-Joy-Crusher

Stormy mood clouds roll in and darken his demeanor,

Like rolling thunder he begins to mumble dire warnings,

Lightening-like words strike randomly, zapping everyone

Who dares to come too near or carelessly, crosses his path;

Then the storm intensifies and builds into all consuming rage;

He becomes a maniacal mad-man, a wrathful anger machine,

Hurting, breaking, hurling, destruction until suddenly, the storm

Stops! The clouds dissipate. The sun returns. As if he has no

Memory of the storm. But the damage and destruction remain.

 

Everything he broke, he neatly and methodically, sweeps away,

By blaming others and casting shame on the victims of his raging

Storm that vanishes; but always returns without warning or reason;

It’s only, his temperamental- season cycling within his intemperate

Mental climate; his untamable nature; and he expects all who love

Him to accept; with his shaming-blame and swallow their tears

And deny any fear,

When his mood clouds begin to rise, his thunder begins to roll,

And disparaging insults strike their tender hearts like sharp bolts

Of lightening that electrically burn loving hearts until,

The love that lights them dies.

 

Dead love evaporates to form new thundering mood clouds;

That build, and roll, and rage, and destroy, and suddenly, dissipate;

Only, to build again; with each storm’s passing leaving more fodder

For future seasonal storms; a natural part of his intemperate climate,

His normal cycling that all who love him must tolerate or self-dissipate;

Because to love him is to precipitate and become a casualty

Of his wrathful-raging-anger storms.

Complex Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome is unendurable pain in response to trauma that continually, recycles. Dark moods that seem to come from nowhere have a very real cause in the past and when the present acts as a reminder, the unresolved emotions related to the past trauma begin to cloud the mind of the CPTSD sufferer. While women often turn their anger inward, men are prone to turn it outward but neither rightly places their anger with the person or persons who hurt them. There may be no concrete memory of the original event as it may be buried deep in the subconscious. Even if memory of the original trauma event is acknowledged, the feelings associated with it are often stuffed down in avoidance only, to rise when triggered. When triggered, sufferers traumatize others and re-traumatize themselves. As the illness cycles, it also grows in strength, and CPTSD can destroy the life of the person trapped within it.

There is hope for survivors of CPTSD in Jesus. He is a reason to live and continue the struggle required to overcome CPTSD. In Jesus there is validation and empathy for survivors of abusive trauma. He is the example to follow on the narrow path that leads to complete forgiveness and the deep letting go of past events that breaks the cycle of CPTSD. It is more than a choice it is a journey of right-reckoning that employs truth in attaching painful emotions with the root of their cause and leaving responsibility in the lap of the person who caused the injury. It is in facing into triggers and deciphering the truth of where the pain originated that emotions are re-attached to what caused them, making those triggers more manageable. Honest acceptance of the pain caused to innocent others and attempting to make amends for those hurts is also, a vital part of genuine reckoning. It may require confrontation of the abuser but their repentance isn’t required for healing. Repentance on the part of the abuser within is required. When responsibility rests in it right place, the work is finished when those offenses are nailed to the cross and the sufferer dies to them.

When a child’s joy is crushed through abuse, that child will grow up and crush the joy of others; but they aren’t beyond the hope available in Jesus. Truth, when rightly employed, will break the cycle of pain and rage that is CPTSD. Though someone you love may be trapped in suffering from the past and because of it have become unlovable, don’t stop loving them. Avoid being a casualty, keep yourself safe, and if no other avenue for loving them is available, love them through prayer.

 

 

 

 


18 thoughts on “Raging-Joy-Crusher

    1. Loving someone doesn’t guarantee they will change but when and if they reach the point where they want change, we can be there to give them the love to help them through the struggle. Choosing to love them pushes our inner envelope, causes us to grow spiritually, and serves as a shield to the bitterness that the actions of a rage-aholic can cause. My hope for all of my poetic profiles is they help others understand the broken-ness of others and how faith in Jesus heals.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. It isn’t recognized by all psychologists. They will say that all PTSD is complex but as a survivor, I find that the criteria of CPTSD best fits survivors of child abuse as it addresses the cumulative trauma during the impressionable years of childhood. It is only in recent years that survivors were recognized as suffers of PTSD. I lived with it for decades and I am a living example of how the Truth can set us free.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. May the Lord use your testimony to minister to other victims. One of the surprise I didn’t expect in ministry was to encounter more people than I expected who were abused as a child. I can’t comprehend such a heinous sin…

        Liked by 1 person

  1. To piggy back on your statement that Jesus is the answer, my dad grew up in an abusive family. However, during my whole 52 years of life, never once was he abusive to me or my siblings. Jesus is the reason and no one can convince me otherwise.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, and I ascribe to Ezekiel 18. No matter how we’re raised, we observe all that our parents are and make our own choices about what kind of person we want to be. However, choosing good and overcoming the damage caused by abuse is a process but those who choose the same evil that was committed against them can’t be helped.

      Like

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