Stormy mood clouds roll in and darken his demeanor,
Like rolling thunder he begins to mumble dire warnings,
Lightening-like words strike randomly, zapping everyone
Who dares to come too near or carelessly, crosses his path;
Then the storm intensifies and builds into all consuming rage;
He becomes a maniacal mad-man, a wrathful anger machine,
Hurting, breaking, hurling, destruction until suddenly, the storm
Stops! The clouds dissipate. The sun returns. As if he has no
Memory of the storm. But the damage and destruction remain.
Everything he broke, he neatly and methodically, sweeps away,
By blaming others and casting shame on the victims of his raging
Storm that vanishes; but always returns without warning or reason;
It’s only, his temperamental- season cycling within his intemperate
Mental climate; his untamable nature; and he expects all who love
Him to accept; with his shaming-blame and swallow their tears
And deny any fear,
When his mood clouds begin to rise, his thunder begins to roll,
And disparaging insults strike their tender hearts like sharp bolts
Of lightening that electrically burn loving hearts until,
The love that lights them dies.
Dead love evaporates to form new thundering mood clouds;
That build, and roll, and rage, and destroy, and suddenly, dissipate;
Only, to build again; with each storm’s passing leaving more fodder
For future seasonal storms; a natural part of his intemperate climate,
His normal cycling that all who love him must tolerate or self-dissipate;
Because to love him is to precipitate and become a casualty
Of his wrathful-raging-anger storms.
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome is unendurable pain in response to trauma that continually, recycles. Dark moods that seem to come from nowhere have a very real cause in the past and when the present acts as a reminder, the unresolved emotions related to the past trauma begin to cloud the mind of the CPTSD sufferer. While women often turn their anger inward, men are prone to turn it outward but neither rightly places their anger with the person or persons who hurt them. There may be no concrete memory of the original event as it may be buried deep in the subconscious. Even if memory of the original trauma event is acknowledged, the feelings associated with it are often stuffed down in avoidance only, to rise when triggered. When triggered, sufferers traumatize others and re-traumatize themselves. As the illness cycles, it also grows in strength, and CPTSD can destroy the life of the person trapped within it.
There is hope for survivors of CPTSD in Jesus. He is a reason to live and continue the struggle required to overcome CPTSD. In Jesus there is validation and empathy for survivors of abusive trauma. He is the example to follow on the narrow path that leads to complete forgiveness and the deep letting go of past events that breaks the cycle of CPTSD. It is more than a choice it is a journey of right-reckoning that employs truth in attaching painful emotions with the root of their cause and leaving responsibility in the lap of the person who caused the injury. It is in facing into triggers and deciphering the truth of where the pain originated that emotions are re-attached to what caused them, making those triggers more manageable. Honest acceptance of the pain caused to innocent others and attempting to make amends for those hurts is also, a vital part of genuine reckoning. It may require confrontation of the abuser but their repentance isn’t required for healing. Repentance on the part of the abuser within is required. When responsibility rests in it right place, the work is finished when those offenses are nailed to the cross and the sufferer dies to them.
When a child’s joy is crushed through abuse, that child will grow up and crush the joy of others; but they aren’t beyond the hope available in Jesus. Truth, when rightly employed, will break the cycle of pain and rage that is CPTSD. Though someone you love may be trapped in suffering from the past and because of it have become unlovable, don’t stop loving them. Avoid being a casualty, keep yourself safe, and if no other avenue for loving them is available, love them through prayer.