Indigo Holiday

I am blue; thoughts downward swirl; deep purple;

The rainbows I like to spin now fade, growing dim;

Joy, only a yellow glow in sad mood’s onyx night;

Glimmering that haunts; by fault revealing scruple,

Things I don’t want to see, as I avoid a reality grim;

Gritty-brown, naked, splattered! Red just for spite!

Taste my memory so bitter! Causes blood to curdle!

Wear this outer mantle so carefully! Proper; Prim…

Too cool… raging fire burning within; hidden plight,

Simmers on Indigo Holiday; pain forced in a girdle;

Ornaments all golden hung on Tanenbaum’s limb…

I need peace not golden tinsel! Truth’s white light!

Guide my heart! End frenetic expectations’ garble!

Dispel purple gloom! Sad memories up to the brim!

Over-flow! Blue mood shadow darkening my sight…

Jesus! My Centerpiece! Softens hurt hard as marble!

Evaporate mists of Indigo Holiday’s traditional trim,

My triggered ghosts, turning all happiness to blight…

With yearnings for what should be; not this struggle;

Mourn! Please, Time make old pain-memories slim;

May every day be a blank slate reflecting Holy light!

Transform Indigo Holiday; Heal grief vexing in purple.


No matter what we believe about Christmas, there is no way to avoid being affected by this huge cultural event. Many people don’t feel happy and bright when the holidays roll around, as they are going through a difficult time or remembering a loss. Others have convictions about customs that put them in conflict with family members and friends. When Christmas hurts there is recourse for believers in stepping away from the tinsel and the high expectations and focusing instead on the Center Piece of God’s plan for mankind, Jesus Christ. In Him there is support for every grieving heart and comfort for all who struggle in this world. He is there for us every day even, on holidays and He has a plan to help each of us fulfill the plan God has for our lives. Jesus is reason when your world is turned upside down. In Him, every day is a Holy Day filled with His purpose and promise. There is healing joy in Jesus when you are unable to feel happy and bright.




18 thoughts on “Indigo Holiday

      1. It’s amazing how scar tissue can build up in the heart, just like in the body. I’m very good at stuffing down what hurts and powering through. I’d be better off just to stop and deal with bad feelings instead of allowing them to scar down. The worst are those injuries caused by loved ones and are continually, re-occurring. I’m trying to find balance between “long-suffering” and not becoming bitter in the process.

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      2. Family causes a lot of hurt Pam. My own has a proud tradition of hurt and dysfunction going through four generations. I passed it down one more just for good measure. But God gave me another chance and this time with the help me Jesus the legacy may end

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      3. Yes, I want that legacy to end so badly. I tried really hard to end it with my kids but in trying to do the opposite of my parents, I created my own form of hyper-functional dysfunction. In the end though Wally, we all choose what kind of person we want to be and it is that choice that sets us on the path of improvement or destruction. Each of us are a combination of genetics, environment, and personal choice. I often wonder who was the first abuser in my family but in the end, we all come from dysfunctional families and we all struggle with personal dysfunction (in better word, sin) but abuse is a choice.

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      4. People define abuse differently but in reality, any disregard for the personal boundaries of another is abuse. The most artful, successful abusers never leave a physical mark to incriminate them but still obtain personal power through fear. Too many children are treated as less than human and the world accepts it as normal. I love the last lines of the book of Micah and believe that when God turns the hearts of parents toward their children and visa versa, it has the power to heal the world. In a sense, that is what our relationship with the Father is all about.

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      1. Pam, lately I’ve been thinking that this kind of approach to writing about the season might be the best to help others.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. thank you for encouraging me to write poetry – I’m grateful.
        Yes, it brings truth by way of love. Maybe mean-spirited poetry exists (probably does) but it is not usual.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Oh…it does. Mean-ness is everywhere these days. I think people feel very frightened and react by being mean. I am appalled at the new “Warrior” stance among some professing Christians. You know, the Bride in combat boots kind of stuff that is on so many FB type memes. My warrioring takes place on my knees and not with a sword. There is a great need for you gentle, quiet spirit and people in a hurry, with short attention spans will read poetry. Just beware of those sporting swords.

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  1. Well done–sometimes that softening is a process which takes longer than I’d like; I’m still praying for a breakthrough in early family, and marriage/divorce issues–but in the meantime, like you, my JOY is in/with JESUS. He and I have intimacy, and even Fun!

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    1. That’s right. It’s important to cooperate with the process but we can’t force it either. I get in trouble when I stuff how I really feel and then try to be what I think I should feel. The process of God working it out in me is the balance between the two that keeps me from going completely, bonkers. lol! Thank you for sharing and nice to meet you.:0)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’ve said it perfectly–we don’t do well when we try to “act as if”, thinking we must perform for others (always my temptation). We are all on the Potter’s wheel, and He has promised to finish every work He’s begun in us–that gives me great Hope and JOY. Very nice to meet you, as well 🙂

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