November Blue

November Blue

On this sacred, blue November day

Somber, thin, high-clouds do lay

Heavy; on trees naked and gray.

Spirit? Bend me and I will pray:

Please God! Deliverance today!

For all who remain death’s prey,

The weak the wicked who will pay.

Sin’s permanent ink-stains stay,

Hard hearts can’t soften to obey,

Leading all who are lost astray,

Blind, deaf, soul’s night in the day…

There’s something sinister at play!

As those dying and lost only say,

To Jesus, to life a proud, Nay!

Sad, they the full cost must pay!

Lost. Infinite blue November day…

Father! It is for mercy that I pray

Melt all prideful blindness away!

As for me, also possible for they,

By Spirit’s grace be led to obey!

Hopeful truth, on blue November day

Between

Between

When all the leaves have fallen

To crunch beneath indifferent feet

Afore winter's capturing talon

Executes life's final, sad retreat

In cold silence loud and sullen

When kettle drums begin to beat

Humbling each arrogant felon

The august end in brutal defeat

Wail! No immunity to dwell in

Ominous! All graves loom to greet

The poor, the rich, the driven

All the same pointless end do meet

Kiss the Son,now! Determine

Sure escape by a fall at Jesus'feet!

Deception

Deception: Mary Mageleen in the Cave

Long and heavy-hot, July-Doldrum-Days;

Shag hazy thought as staggering, drunk strays;

Desperation fraught in scorching-hot-rays!

Instinct (not wisdom taught) seeks cool caves.

Safe, in a hidden spot! As my long-lost slaves…

I reclaim my thought, my icy-blue-memory saves,

My present re-caught in isolation my soul craves.

Rid of the fiery onslaught! By cool, blue waves…

Comfort the distraught,Oh Shadow of the Graves!

Deceiving the overwrought on blazing-hot-days.

 

Lost

Vanity
Vanity

Mooribound thoughts in grey sliced by a jagged indigo wind!

Shatter across the frozen tundra of the mind…

Then conclude at the dead end of human wisdom.

Gray truth of depression speaking again!

Hopeless dry snow! Cold powdered emotion!

Stinging the eyes and faces of all daring to come near,

Offering the salve of cheerful words that burn!

Here to remain in shadowed dark retreat…

The deepest forgotten cave of a tortured brain;

Silently licking these old wounds opened again;

Protecting new gashes now, both festering as one…

Gangrene of the soul threatening amputation!

Complete severing from God and life. Woefully lie,

Safe in the embrace of isolation. “Lover hold me close!”

No one can hurt me here! Hints of safety and relief in nonexistence…

Death’s soft whisper seduces awful grey to flow into a sultry ebony dream…

Black delusion! Dead coal to burn red-hot!

Ignited as latent anger explodes! Life’s final stand!

Mollified in the righteous anger of God! Oh ancient lake, Gehenna!

Garbage dump zealous to consume,

Vain creators and their works born of carnal purposeless lives.

Faith lying dead in heaps are the broken dreams of mortal pride,

The very cutting shards of this biting indigo wind!

Wind fanning the flames that never die!

Outside the City Gate…

Where regretful lost souls gnash their teeth and cry!

Winter’s Artist

Winter's Artist
Winter’s Artist

The budding artist that never quite blossomed into fame is that eccentric old woman. I am her and she is me and the hardest part about being her is accepting her. Once active hands and mind used to create things of beauty now, often lie in rest or are consumed with self-care. However, that eternal flame that inspires still burns inside and sometimes blazes as these old hands tremble and rise once more to make something new, young, and beautiful. Old dreams awake in a turbulent rush of ideas clamoring for expression. Who knows how long this will last and can my more feeble faculties endure to give them birth? How long before the heavy blanket of age and failing health seeks again to smother that inner flame? I wonder is it fame and worldly acceptance that has the power to relabel an eccentric an artist? Or is it I who holds that power in simply expressing what I know deep inside, by that bright inner light, to be eternally true about my identity and purpose?

Yes, I am old and eccentric. I am a winter artist.

Irrelevant?

What if I have written it all away?

All those important things I had to say,

And my creative mind fades in aging?

 

Should this old woman sit silent?

Observing only, as life’s passions relent?

And ambitions fray beyond assuaging?

 

Is this the day I’ve become irrelevant?

A life of experience now, an impediment?

As youths fires of souls in mind raging!

 

Old marries alone; aging artist is eccentric.

Cutting edge technique, an olden-day trick!

Museum dust, archived tomes arranging.

 

Inside this graying head ideas still burn!

Refined, honed, tested, polished; Taciturn,

Waiting for perfect moment, right paging.

 

Old woman’s color fades into the background…

Expert hand trembles to write words profound.

Perfect gems require no salacious packaging.

 

Does age purify the art of the creative?

Or does it stagnate, cease; become vegetative?

Like me, is my art from life now, disengaging?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Survivor’s Prayer

If I am still alive when the bitter cloud passes, may I not I not be found stubbornly clinging to the storm because I’ve adapted myself to misery. Instead, may I celebrate in sunlight as I embrace the sparkling new day the sun reveals. Let me move forward to clean up the damage left by the storm and not be stuck hanging on for survival long after the storm has passed. A powerful storm forever transforms the landscape and the lives of those who survive but help me, Lord to accept and embrace the transformation. May the storm not live on in me in thoughts that exist in loops and refuse to move forward. Make me mindful of the present and keep me from reliving terrifying moments and even repeating them by my actions. I do not want to be a storm bearer, a manufacturer of the misery I survived. Instead, help me share the hope that enabled me to endure. May I be an image bearer of you, Jesus the one who made my survival possible. It is to you that I cling in the midst of every storm. I cling to you now, even though the sun is breaking through the clouds because I need you in good times as well as in bad. I remain tethered to face new storms that soon will appear on the horizon. Even if one of those storms should take my life, I know my soul is secure in you, Jesus. Though I die, I will live. I should never fear the storm but when I do, Jesus, you are always there to comfort and strengthen me. You are there to lead me forward when danger has passed. In you I have hope even, on those dark days when I can feel no hope, joy, or peace. Even when I let go of you, Jesus, I know you are holding on to me. Thank you, Jesus for this gift of faith by which I endure all things to also, overcome. Amen.

My Consequence and My Pardon

I am a sinner saved by grace and in this present world, I will never be anything else. That doesn’t mean that the grace I’ve received is a cloak for evil. My profession of faith isn’t a ticket to sin without punishment. What I do avoid by my acceptance of Christ is what the Bible describes as the “second death”. I believe in Judgment Day and on that Day the pardon I’ve received through faith in Jesus will keep me safe from the final death of spirit and soul that I and all human beings deserve. Jesus didn’t die to make me a moral person. Jesus died to give me and anyone else who will accept it, eternal life. Jesus died in order to reunite God and man. Faith in Jesus isn’t a matter of morality. It is a matter of life or death. However, I am changed by having Jesus at the center of my life and my desire to sin is diminished by my greater desire to please God. The gift of eternal life is a morally transforming gift.

As a sinner saved by grace, I still suffer the consequences when I sin. Those consequences are natural and inescapable. No one is able to break God’s Law and avoid what those wrong actions create even if they escape human punishment. I have been sick for the better part of forty years now, due to a serious sin I committed against myself as a teenager. I have changed my life since then and there are those who love me and think that God is being very unfair toward me in allowing me to suffer for a mistake I made as a child. I know that if God hadn’t intervened in my life, I never would have been able to change my life, and I would most likely be dead, forever separated from God. My illness is simply the natural consequence attached to my sin and part of my cross to bear. Others doubt my faith or think I suffer needlessly because my faith is weak but my faith doesn’t come from me. It too is a gift from God and the consequences I endure prove the durability of my precious gift. Without Christ, I would be a physically broken bitter old woman. With Christ, I am a physically broken joyful old woman. All that should have embittered me has taught me empathy and opened many doors into the lives of others that enable me to share God’s love and comfort with my fellow, suffering sinners. The consequence of my foolish actions keeps me humble and in a position that allows God to work through me more effectively. I endure because I know ultimately, my healing is coming. Because Jesus died for me, I will physically die only once, and I will rise again to live with Him in a better world.

As a sinner saved by grace, I also suffer as a result of the sins of others. In fact, some of those sins are what drove me, as a child, to use drugs. However, I am still accountable for my actions as those who hurt me are accountable for theirs. The sin I committed against myself hurt me, hurt the people who loved me, hurt the people who love me now, and most of all hurt my Heavenly Father. My sin put Jesus on the cross and His physical sacrifice made it possible for me to be granted forgiveness from God. In the same way, I a sinner must forgive those who sinned against me. That doesn’t mean they will accept my forgiveness by taking responsibility for their actions. I can’t do their part of restoring our relationship. I can’t force what even God doesn’t force upon others. It does mean that I pardon them just as in Christ I am pardoned. I am unable to do this on my own but because Jesus lives in me by faith, the Holy Spirit enables me to do what is humanly impossible.

This is what the cross means personally, to me. I know it sounds very foolish to most but that is the power and the ultimate wisdom of the cross of Christ. True foolishness is to reject the free gift of eternal life by denying the price Jesus paid to obtain it and then offer it freely to all who will believe. True foolishness is to deny the fallen state of mankind and our need for God. We can never be Him and will only die trying. My prayer during this time of year when the world considers the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus is that eyes and hearts will be opened to realize the need for salvation found only, at the foot of the cross of Christ. Please, accept your pardon today.

 

 

At The Sound!

One ear is tuned to hear Heaven…

Another ear is tuned to the ground.

Living souls do hang in the balance!

Eternal Breath in mortality is wound.

Divinity’s spark as light in the mind!

Illuminate hope, wisdom profound!

Either to ignite or be extinguished…

Lost souls all fall! Carnal moribound!

Faith’s seed sprouts, grows…or dies…

Hearts to open or close to the sound,

Of Jesus Name! Who died but lives!

Calls dead, “Rise up from the ground!”

This is the design for all humankind.

Jesus seeks the lost and those found,

Escape second-death into eternal Life!

God’s Breath enlivens earthly bound;

Never be separate from Father again!

Hope for all who are lost to be found!

Breath taken back when worldly ears…

Refuse to hear Jesus! Fail to respond!

Will gnash in pain when Door closes!

Please today, hear! Be Heaven bound!

Two fates for soul hang in the balance!

 

 

The Door to Joy

Near the end of a harshly-cold, long, black night, when the explosion comes and personal worlds come crashing down. Everything known shattered and scattered lying on hard-packed ground. These moments are Death but the victims are left breathing to suffer the carnage. Wait for the morning light! Every ray that glints from each broken shard enlivens an old memory with the sorrow of loss. Grief’s overbearing moment, a debt payable only in defeated tears. A specified time to cry out to God in anger, then remorse, and finally repentance; cover the mournful head with dust and ashes, then submit, face into the wind and be made clean! Everything passes and none are able to hold onto the good or the bad, all things arrive and fade according to their pre-set season. The obedient bend to endure all seasons, the disobedient are broken; but neither achieves personal glory by their chosen effort. It’s not about us, it’s all about Him and all people before God are equal in value. Our individual days rise to fade as our dreams are formed to vanish in the same mist; as our lives blend to form the greater whole. This that we are a part of and have no hope to escape is beyond individual or collective understanding. To be human is have instinctual, conscious knowledge that is divine but hampered because we are carnal. Truth is something we know but can’t fully apprehend. Born to imitate the Creator, we seek to control, to bend, to build, to master, but night shortens our day; and the eternity we reach for remains beyond our grasp. Death descends and we suffer loss, again, and again, and again; until the final night falls…

There is but one way out of the futility called the Human Condition. Only, one Door by which all may enter to find life, hope, and freedom, along with the strength to rise up on weakened legs from the ashes to life overflowing into the eternal. It is open to all in every walk of life, to people of every gender, and every color who are willing to believe that Jesus is the Son of God and the Son of Man. To all who on their sad day of dust and ashes understand that He laid down His life to save them as they then, reach up and grasp the Mighty Hand reaching down to receive faith within that strong clasp. In that broken, dire moment when human wisdom is revealed as lacking, as foolish and all useful knowledge boils down to one Name: Jesus! The power to rise, live again, with a new purpose claimed. Though in this world there will still be Death to face every day ( with losses, suffering, and grief to bear) Jesus is the open Door into eternal life, with lasting purpose set beyond Death’s border. Though everything in this material life is broken, in Christ find seven-fold restoration for all kept by faith. Don’t refuse this gracious offer that costs nothing but the release of human pride. If you are mournful, grieving, and sorry, let it go and enter the Door to joy!

John 14:6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.